Ok, ok, that's a very broad statement. What I should say is, in my experience, the Christian men I have encountered don't seem to be too overly concerned with dating. Sure, some of them do and to them, I say kudos! Well, as long as you're not a serial dater. I don't see many of those though. Most of the guys who actually ask girls out eventually find one and get married. Weird how that works out.
This is a continuing discussion among my single lady friends. Actually, it's not much of a discussion anymore. We've pretty much tired of the topic and just approach it with an "it is what it is" mentality. But I can't seem to get it out of my head lately. The more at peace with it I become, the more infuriated I get. I was never one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding and had it all mapped out. I was always focused on school and career goals. And that's not to say I had blinders on, I just wasn't all wrapped up in the husband chase during the college years. But never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I would be sitting here at 33 still single without a prospect in sight (on a side note, I keep thinking I'm 34, but that's a whole different story).
"But what are you doing about it?" is often the refrain I hear from those who are married. No, I'm not in bars trolling for guys. I'm not at the gym on the lookout. I don't pass by cute strangers and strike up a conversation. You know where I go? Church. Yep, church. Why you ask? Because the Bible tells me I'm not supposed to be unequally yoked. It also tells me I'm supposed to be submissive to my (future) husband, and let's be honest. Being on the prowl from the get-go doesn't bode well for my submissiveness, now does it? No, I'm supposed to wait for the gentleman to ask me out. He's supposed to pursue. He's supposed to lead. Our courtship should be the model of our marriage. But here's the problem. Christian men aren't dating.
I see them. They're there. They exist. I know them. They are my friends. But evidently we Christian ladies actually in the church just aren't appealing to them. Maybe this is a bigger problem because I choose to live in LA and every other girl out here is drop dead gorgeous actress wannabe and my guy friends are under some false delusion that they deserve that type of woman regardless of whether she is a Christian or not. While this doesn't help the situation, I don't really think it's the culprit. I think this is happening in churches across the country. These men are in a suspended state of adolescence and don't seem to want the responsibility of a family. And for some reason, the church is just turning a blind eye to it.
I know what you're thinking. Terri, find ways to meet more guys! I hear you. But I also work a 9 to 10 hour day and commute about 45 minutes each way, so the weekdays are out. I joined a men's softball league and am having a blast, but there doesn't seem to be anything there. I'm on e-harmony. I even joined Christian Mingle. The next step is to leave my small church plant and go to a bigger church where the odds might be better. Except they won't because my friends have done just that and the result is the same. No one is getting asked out.
Instead, we get together on Monday nights to watch The Bachelor and laugh at it (but secretly long for that same pursuit in our lives) and plan how long until we can afford to buy a house in the hills together and finally embrace our spinster destiny...while the church doesn't seem to notice or care.
ADDENDUM: The boy said I should update this because, well, he asked me out. I still stand by the original thoughts though. As one of my friends jokingly stated (and lucky for me) "evidently he didn't get the memo."
